Ps 102:7 I lie awake, lonely as a solitary bird on the roof.               

Everyone has felt lonely. We can even be lonely in a crowd. I never thought that was possible until it happened to me.

            I remember sitting in church feeling all alone. I knew God was there, but couldn’t understand why I felt so isolated. Even the wonderful praise and worship songs didn’t help. I thought, “why am I here, there is nothing for me.” As the pastor began his sermon, I felt my husband take my hand, but I shrugged it off. I didn’t want to feel his happiness and contentment. Afterward, he asked if I was alright. “Fine, I replied,” then regretted rejecting his help.

            The pastor summoned him to pray with someone. By the time I made my way through the crowded church, I felt even worse. All I wanted was to suffer in silence. As I departed the building, I saw someone who I had not seen for several months get out of her car and approach me. After the social pleasantries, she asked if something was wrong.

“I am fine.”

“No, you’re not. God wants you to know that your self-isolation is not healthy, and that he is with you.”

Tears filled my eyes. “But I don’t feel him.”

She smiled. “Even when we don’t feel him, he is always there, we are never alone.”

            I used that time of “aloneness” to spend more time with God and learn a valuable lesson. My husband’s love and compassion showed me sometimes we need to be alone, for emotional or spiritual healing, but as long as we trust God’s plan we are never alone.

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